4th of July Safety Tips
by Barry Bubblestein
Summary: Jubileena and Candlehead give everyone in the arcade safety advice for handling fireworks.


**A/N: Another Red Vs. Blue Parody under the same name. I know it might not be close to the actual holiday at the time of uploading this, but I wanted to post something. So enjoy.**

* * *

One of the TV screens in Game Central Station lit up and the images of Taffyta Muttonfudge and Candlehead appeared on the screen. While Taffyta was in her normal pink outfit, Candlehead was wearing a white shirt overtop of hers.

"You're on." Someone said from behind a camera filming the two girls

"Hi everyone." Taffyta spoke up while Candlehead simply waved. "I'm Taffyta Muttonfudge from the popular arcade game Sugar Rush. Today we're here to talk to you about…" She began to introduce herself, but was interrupted when her fellow racer Jubileena Bing Bing ran up to them.

"Hey guy, sorry I'm late." She panted, trying to catch her breath.

Taffyta seemed shock by her presents. "Jubi, what are you doing here? It was supposed to be Citrusella that came here so we could be red white and blue." She explained.

"But you're in pink, so shouldn't it technically be me, Citrusella and Candlehead in her white shirt?" The cherry racer questioned Taffyta's logic.

Taffyta just sighted. "Fine, let's just start over." She told the two girls.

"Hi there. I am Taffyta Muttonfudge from the popular arcade game Sugar Rush." However, it wasn't Taffyta that was saying this, but Candlehead. Who was trying her very best to impersonate her friend.

"That's my line." Taffyta was starting to get annoyed.

"Youcan'tprovethat." Candlehead quickly said, trying to act innocent.

Taffyta just pinched the bridge of her nose and let out another irritated sigh. "ANYWAY, as you probably already know, this weekend we celebrate the fourth of July; or as it's known in Mexico, "Cinqo de Mayo." She explained. "But the real reason we celebrate the fourth of July isn't for the food or the fun, or even the picnics with the non-stop binge drinking. There's only one sure reason we celebrate the fourth of July. To have a lot of explosions." She pulled out a cherry bomb from behind her.

Candlehead jumped up and down, clapping her hands gleefully. "Yay, it's fireworks day!"

"Aw yeah." Jubileena cheered, doing a fist pump in the air. "I still have three fingers that haven't regenerated from last year."

"In preparation for the big day, we've assembled a short list of safety tips that will hopefully make your holiday explosions safe, and enjoyable for the whole family." Taffyta told the camera as Jubi and Candle ran off camera. "Let's watch as Candlehead and Jubileena demonstrate some common mistakes to avoid when handling fireworks. And by fireworks, we'll be using cherry bombs." Taffyta clarified.

* * *

**Safety Tip #1: Never play with fireworks indoors**

"Hello Jubi, check out this awesome sparkler." Candlehead showed off a lit cherry bomb to Jubileena. "It is even better because we are playing with it inside." She said hugging it.

"Hey wait a minute. That's not a sparkler, that's a cherry bomb!" She panicked as its fuse hissed away.

"Don't worry, we are completely safe. All of the doors and windows are locked from the outside, so we cannot escape." Candlehead reassured her scared friend. She then widened her eyes when she realized what that meant. "Oh, wait a minute…" She began to put together. But as she did, the cherry exploded on both of the girls. Luckily, they regenerated a few seconds ago.

**Safety Tip #2: Never play with fireworks near an open flame**

Jubileena is standing by a barbecue, wearing a white apron that says "Kiss the Cook" on the front of it. "Hey there Candle, how do you want your gummy burger? Well done or pink and juicy!?" She asked with a smile as she flipped a couple of them.

"Yes. I will take that big red one." She responded, pointing to a cherry bomb that was lit by the bbq flames.

Jubileena realized what it was. "Hey. That's not a gummy burger, that's a cherry bomb!"

"I know! I switched them when you weren't looking!" Candlehead chirped with a goofy grin. Her smile slowly curled into a straight face when she realized she messed up. "... Maybe I should not have done that." The ditz said plainly as it exploded on both of them.

**Safety Tip #3: Never put lit fireworks near your head of face area**

Jubileena walked up to Candlehead, who was holding something under her hat. "Hey Candle, have you seen my cherry bomb? I was gonna use it for the roster race." She whined out loud.

Candlehead lifted up her hat to reveal a cherry bomb with a fuse that was about to blow "Yes, I put it in my hat. Wait..." She started to say, but it blew up on her.

**Safety Tip #4: Never aim fireworks at your friends**

Taffyta is standing in front of the two girls. "For this final bit, the part of the bottle rocket will be improvised with a cherry bomb cannon. Please enjoy." She explained stepping aside to reveal Candlehead inside of her Ice Screamer, which had a large cannon on the back of it.

"Hey Jubi, want to see my awesome bottle rocket!?" Candlehead called from her kart which was parked in front of the cherry themed racer.

"Totally, just remember: don't point it directly at me! Okay!?" She warned, giving Candlehead the thumbs up.

"Okay! And I promise I won't forget whatever it is that you just said." The ditz told Jubileena. Not even a beat later, she fired the cherry bomb launcher. It blasted a cherry at Jubi and exploded, leaving her covered in a pile of soot. "…I forgot." She called out to her.

* * *

"Aaaaand end scene." Taffyta clapped her hands together. "Well, I hope you've all learned a lot about fireworks, and maybe even, a little bit about yourself." She smiled at the camera as the two other girls took the places back by the pink racer. They suddenly both looked panicked and ran away.

"Uh-oh!" Was all Jubileena could say.

"Running time." Candlehead ran.

"Oh I almost forgot to mention the most important safety tip. If you have small children around, or even very very stupid adults, never ever let them play with fireworks without proper supervision. Hey- what's that hissing noise?" Taffyta realized she heard a hissing noise. She turned to see a cherry bomb explode on her. It sent her flying into the camera which knocked out the picture, but the sound was still being recorded.

"CANDLEHEAD!" An angry Taffyta cried.

"Rancis did it!" The candle headed racer sobbed with sadness in her voice.

"What are you talking about!? I wasn't even in the video!" Rancis Fluggerbutter could be heard defending himself.

"Happy fireworks day everybody." Jubileena cheered even though there was no picture."


End file.
